Family Man
by Sos7
Summary: AU based on the movie "The Family Man"
1. Chapter 1

Title: The Family Man

Author: pinch5

Summary: based the movie Family Man

Warnings: mpreg, fluff, smex

Note: Check it, I'm alive

Noah Puckerman stared down at the city through his office window. The snow pelted against the Plexiglas angrily and threatened to blind him with white. It was fucking cold in here. Noah Puckerman did not enjoy the cold. He sometimes wondered if it was the smartest idea to leave Lima for the big, cold city. Even if he was the best goddamn lawyer in the state, he still couldn't get anyone to fix the damn heat. It didn't matter how rich you were, bad service was bad service. He grunted angrily and snatched up his briefcase, intending to go home and drink the holidays away in his toasty top floor penthouse. Noah hated the holidays; while the holidays always brought in more money (people are petty during the most wonderful time of the year) he couldn't stand all of the joy. He didn't care that it was magical time of the year. Everyone knows now that Christmas is a holiday played up by big businesses to sell cheap video games and ridiculous over price jewelry. Didn't people understand that one day, it would all be over? That their joy would melt with that god awful as soon as the heat was brought on? Noah didn't mind, when they finally realized that he was right, they would need a damn good lawyer and he was the best money could buy.

Noah threw on his jacket and snatched open his office door, wanting to leave as quickly as possible, when a body blocked his exit. There, despite the frigid temperature, was Quinn Fabray, his secretary (sometimes sex-cretary), clad in nothing but a thin silk robe that stopped at the middle of her thighs. Noah raised an eyebrow and backed himself into his office as Quinn walked in. She shut the door behind her before opening the robe and letting it slide to the ground. Noah's eyes zeroed in on her nipples, which were hard and peaked from the cool air.

She smiled flirtatiously at Noah and closed the distance between them.

"Merry Christmas, Mr. Puckerman."

`!`

Noah opened the door to his penthouse with a sigh. No matter how much he denied it, he was getting old. He couldn't just go on round after round, he wasn't Fabio. He just wasn't young enough to go again and again with Fabray. Yeah, she was nice and all, but she was only a tight hole for a night (or hour, whatever). Noah kicked off his shoes and flicked on the lights to his suite. He looked around his house with a bored expression; when he first bought this penthouse suite, it was the happiest moment of his life. He had just made his first million and buying a penthouse on the top floor would cement his success. Now it just reminded Noah of how lonely he was. The penthouse was designed for a single man, and he hated that. He threw his briefcase somewhere and trotted off to his kitchen for his usual high class dinner of cold take-out and beer.

Noah sat down at his kitchen table that overlooked the city. It was quiet beautiful with the snow and the lovely lights and Noah wished more then ever he had someone to spend it with. Noah stuffed another piece of cold pork in his mouth angrily; this is why he hated the holidays, he never had someone to spend it with. Noah would never admit this, he had tons of beautiful women (men as well) at his beck and call, but God if they didn't all bore him to death! He didn't just was good fuck, he wanted a wife! He wanted someone he could trust his life with and maybe pop out a few kids. Noah shook his head, now he definitely needed a beer if he thought having kids was a good thing. He finished off his beer in a gulp and reached for another, he couldn't wait for the holidays to be over, it all made him sick.

By the time Noah had finished his cold pork lo-mien, he had polished off 6 beers and glass of red wine (gotta keep it classy). Noah stumbled over to his bedroom, still somewhat coherent, and tried to change. While falling time and time again he managed to take his dress pants off and throw them off to the distance. He drunkenly wandered over to his in room storage closet, mistaking it for his bathroom and opened the door violently. With his head so buzzed and slow Noah didn't have time to get out of the way of the pile of boxes descending from the top shelf. He went down with a loud curse and a thud. He sat up angrily and shoved the boxes off of him. He sighed and looked around, thinking about how bad his head was going to hurt when he spotted something red and white sticking out of a box at his feet. Noah dragged the box over and sat it on his lap and pulled it out. Noah pulled the tattered letterman jacket out of the box with a wary smile. No matter what anyone said his high school years were the happiest of his life.

He turned the jacket over and looked at it, this way and that, reveling in the memories and happened to see a yellowed, crumple piece of lined paper sticking out of one of the pockets. Noah took it out and straightened the paper, trying to be as gentle as possible so he wouldn't tear it.

Puck -

Do your best on the SAT! You're too smart to fail!

Love, Kurt 3

Noah sobered up instantly at the thought of his old high school boyfriend. Puck, he hadn't that name in a good, long while. God, he couldn't believe that he had promised to marry him when they got out of high school. He was a pretty dumb and headstrong. Noah could still remember the boy who had been his first love, Kurt Hummel. Kurt and his beautiful bright, blue eyes, cute face and incredible personality was every gay boys dream. Too bad he was 'straight' in high school.

Oh yes, Noah could remember the day they broke up as if it was seared into the back of his eyelids.

**Puck stared at the frizzed hair fuck in front of him "What did you say?" He growled out furiously.**

**The junior reporter swallowed and tried to choose his words carefully "I-I, um, the word on the street is that no girl in the school with give you any nookie, so you've crossed over to the dark side, and have Kurt Hummel at your beck and call."**

**Puck clenched his fists together and fought the urge to clock this unholy looking fucker in the face.**

"**And where, did you hear this rumor?"**

**Jacob tried to fight back and put a little (by little I mean barely any at all) force behind his voice "I never reveal my sources."**

**Puck punched the locker behind Jacob's head and roared "Tell me!"**

**Jacob's resolve crumbled and he blurted out "Kurt! He was talking to that black girl about going on a date with you!"**

**Puck stared at Jacob, a scathing scare frozen on his face. On the outside he looked outraged at the lie, but on the inside he was afraid. He didn't want anyone to know that he was gay, not in this little hick town.**

"**I wouldn't fuck that little fag with a 10 foot pole. That fucking fairy was probably fantasizing about me! Don't mix fact with fiction Israel!"**

**Jacob nodded fearfully before scurrying away. **

**Puck punched the locker again out of frustration; he was tired of this. He couldn't go on wondering 24/7 if he was going to be outed in public. He had to end this. **

**Puck found Kurt after school, sitting at the auditorium piano, practicing some show tune or something. **

**Puck stood behind Kurt thinking that what he was doing was for the best.**

"**Kurt."**

**Kurt's shoulder's tensed in surprise before he relaxed and turned to face Puck "Hey baby."**

"**Don't call me that!" Puck snapped angrily.**

**Kurt looked shocked and hurt at the outburst but masked the hurt with anger "What is wrong with you, all I was doing was trying to start a conversation!" he snapped back. **

"**That's all you do Kurt! Fucking talk! And now because of your big fucking mouth, there's a rumor that I'm a…a fag like you!"**

**Kurt looked like Puck had physically hit him across the face and took a step back.**

"**How the hell could you say something like that, Puck! I thought-"**

"**Well you thought wrong! I'm not going to leave this damn town as the fairy's boyfriend." **

**Kurt looked lost for a moment and nervously started twirling the ring around his finger "Leave? What are you saying?"**

**Puck looked down at his feet, angry at his own fear and muttered "I got accepted to Harvard, I leave next month, after graduation."**

**Kurt looked down at the engagement ring on his hand "After graduation? What about…" Kurt trailed off but Puck knew what he was asking. **

"**I'm not going to marry you. I shouldn't have asked you, I was probably high off my ass to think I could waste my life with you."**

**Puck and Kurt stood in silence, only the sound of Kurt's tears hitting the tiled floor shattering it. Puck felt the air had been sucked out of his lungs as Kurt slipped the ring off of his finger.**

"**Look, you can keep the ring if you wa-"**

"**No thank you." Those three short words were said with so much sorrow that Puck wanted to throw up. Puck flinched as the marriage band hit him square in the face.**

"**You keep it; you can use it when you marry your brand new fag-free life."**

**Kurt didn't bother to stay and listen to anything more that Puck had to say and left the room. Puck winced as the door slammed and he was left alone. Puck crouched down and picked up the still warm ring. He sighed and mimed putting it on a finger.**

"**I now pronounce us, man and wife." He said with a bitter smile.**

Puck sighed and dragged himself into his bed and couldn't help but wonder what could've have been.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: The Family Man  
Author: pinch5  
Summary: based on **this prompt**  
Warnings: mpreg, fluff, smex  
Note: Check it, I'm alive

Noah groaned as the annoying shrill of an alarm clocked screamed in his ear. Lord, when did his alarm clock get so loud? Didn't he get on of those wind chime alarm clocks as a gift from Mr. Takanawa from the Japanese merge? Noah tried to block out the sounds of the alarm clock and catch a few more minutes of sleep when the alarm shut off by itself. Noah sighed happily and snuggled back into his bed (which smelled like peaches, believe it or not) hoping he could finally go back to sleep in peace when a soft voice called out to him, trying to wake him.

"Noah….up." The voice was groggy and soothing, lulling Noah even deeper in to sleep.

"Wake up, Noah!" The voice suddenly turned loud and sharp, jerking him out of his sleep. Noah blinked sleepily and tried to blink his eyes clear so he could find out who was in his bed and kick them the hell out.

"Goodness Noah, I know you've always been a deep sleeper, but this is just ridiculous, the man in his bed joked.

Noah blinked in shock and surprised and let a crocked cough of shock. It was Kurt. Kurt Hummel all grown up and beautiful in his bed, just what the fuck did he do last night? Noah flapped his jaw, speechless for the time being as Kurt put a hand to his forehead.

"You're not getting sick are you? I told you to wear the hat I bought you, that curly jew-fro won't keep you warm forever."

Noah seemed to finally find his voice to quietly ask "K-Kurt?"

Kurt slipped out of bed and bent over to put some clothes on, sticking his tight ass in the air. Noah stopped and stared before shaking himself out of his stupor and Kurt pulled his pajama pants up and spoke to him.

"Whatever it is, it has to wait dear, I have to get the kids up for school."

KIDS?

Noah's jaw dropped once again and his eyes bugled out, what kind of dream was this? Noah closed his eyes tightly and pinched himself, hoping to wake up. Noah opened up one eye hesitantly and found himself in the same bed as before. Speaking of the bed, Noah picked up the bed sheet on top of his legs and examined it. Buttercup yellow bed sheets? This wasn't his bed! Oh no what if he wasn't himself, like what if he had possessed Kurt's new husband and was now living in his body? Noah jumped out of bed and ran to the nearest mirror and sighed in relief when he saw his reflection. The relief was short lived as he ran a hand atop his head.

He had…hair.

What the fuck happened? Noah hated his curls which is why he kept his hair shot and close to his head. What the fuck was going on? Noah looked around the room he was now in. It was…white, or off white, whatever! His bedroom was gray and it was over looking the city! Noah located the nearest window and looked outside of it, he nearly fainted in shock.

He was in Lima again!

Noah jumped and hit his head as the door banged open and a high pitched voice squealed "I can see daddy's butt!"

Noah twirled around quickly and covered his goods with his hands from the naked little boy standing in the door.

"Holy shit!"

Kurt walked past the opened door and took the sight of his husband and his youngest standing in the nude together.

"Lovely, Noah. Please dress Jordan and yourself and come downstairs for breakfast." Kurt walked past before back peddling and hissing at Noah "And get away from the window! You're mooning the neighbors!"

Noah covered his ass with his other hand and tried to hobble over to the bed, but tripped over the bed spread and went down like the titanic.

"Oh for goodness sake…I'll dress Jordan, just pull yourself together! What is up with you this morning?"

Kurt picked the little boy (his son!) up and carried the squirming bundle away.

Noah vaulted over the bed and slammed the door shut, sliding down the back of it. Noah put his hands and shut his eyes as tightly as possible, wanting to wake up from this dream. His eyes opened to see the cream walls and yellow bed sheets still in front of him.

At this point, Noah was contemplating just going back to bed and hoping that it would be all over soon, but he wanted to find out more about this new life. Noah found himself some clothes and opened the door just a crack, peering through out suspiciously. He walked out the bedroom and was nearly run over by 2 little boys and an older girl. Noah huffed and continued his way downstairs, no wonder he never had any kids…oh wait, those were _his _kids.

Noah walked down the stairs and raised an eyebrow at the very, very large dog at the foot of the stairs. The dog raised its head for a pet and he said uncertainly "Hey, there girl…" The dog jerked away, offended and Noah hissed a quick apology "Sorry, boy."

Noah walked into the kitchen and found Kurt sitting down at the table alone, drinking tea.

"Hey..." Noah said quietly.

Kurt smiled brightly at him and offered the seat across from him, handing him a plate of bacon and eggs. Kurt kissed him on the cheek and sighed happily.

"I'm so glad you finally have a day off, it's been months."

Noah swallowed down his (fucking awesome) eggs and turned to Kurt "I have a day off?" From where? Noah couldn't help but wonder.

Kurt rolled his eyes at him and sipped at his tea "You've forgotten already, typical Noah. But yes, dad has finally given you a day off."

Dad? Noah sat there confused for a moment before it clicked. Burt Hummel, back in high school the older man ran Hummel's Tires and Lube, he guessed it was still in business. Noah wrinkled his nose, he was a grease monkey!

Noah glanced at Kurt through his lashes and couldn't help but notice how happy and content the smaller man looked, surrounded by this tiny house that smelled like bacon and soap. Noah was happy to just stare at Kurt for the rest of the day, when a thunderstorm cam tramping down the stairs. Noah swallowed quickly, his eggs going down the wrong tube at the sudden and quiet loud sound. Noah hacked and coughed as a circus of children surrounded him. He calmed down as it went down the right throat and looked up at the 3 pairs of confused eyes staring at him.

One kid, who looked exactly like the on standing right next to him spoke to Kurt "Papa, what's wrong with daddy?"

Kurt shrugged and let the children get situated at the table "If only I knew Nathan, hurry up and eat your breakfast. Where's Jordan and Abigail?"

Luckily for Noah he was neither eating nor drinking because if he was, he would have choked again. Noah mentally did a head count.

There was Jordan, Nathan+twin and Abigail, shit he had 4 kids. Kurt rolled his eyes and pointed to Nathan's twin "Nero, go find your sister and your brother get them for breakfast."

Nero, who looked to be about 6 or 7 nodded and hopped out of the chair before running up the stairs. For a few minutes it was pretty quiet until multiple pairs of feet ran down the stairs, all 3 of the children screaming. Noah's eyes widened as Abigail ran after Jordan and Nero, screaming bloody murder. Nathan seemed put out that he wasn't on the fun, so he pushed away his breakfast and ran after his sister, with a cry of happiness.

Noah looked at the children in disbelief, and looked at Kurt for guidance. Kurt just shrugged and kept with his tea, looking as happy and peaceful as he did when it was just the two of them, a few minutes before.

Noah snuck a kiss on Kurt's cheek before leaning back in his own chair with a smile.

He couldn't ever remember being happier.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: The Family Man  
Author: pinch5  
Summary: based on **the movie, The Family Man**  
Warnings: mpreg, fluff, sex

Note: The sex, I really don't enjoy it. I would have liked it to be longer too.

Noah watched as Kurt got up, and began gathering up the breakfast dishes and putting them in the sink.

"C'mon guys, it's time to go."

Noah looked at his children in awe as the scrambled to get their winter coats and boots on. It was like a circus except instead of animals he had all of these little people in big fluffy coats, standing in the living room. Abigail was in a puffy dark red jacket, with a bright red scarf and hat. Nathan and Nero both had navy blue coats; the only difference was that they each had different colored hats. Jordan had on a puffy black jacket, blue mittens, scarf and hat. He looked like a big blue marshmallow. Kurt just calmly put on his winter boots, pea coat, hat and gloves and ushered the kids to the door. Noah stood and followed with a raised eyebrow.

"Where are you going?"

Kurt fixed him with a strange look "I'm dropping the kids off at school; where else would I be going with them?"

Noah took in Kurt's loose, black pajama pants, plain black tee under his dull brown pea coat and black winter boots.

"You're going out, dressed like that?"

Abigail scoffed and shot her father a dirty look "Oh my gosh! How can you say that, daddy? Papa looks great!"

Nero and Nathan pouted angrily at Noah as well; gripping Kurt's gloved hands tightly "Papa looks great!" Nero shouted (he thinks, they are identical twins)

"Yeah!" Nathan shouted after his brother.

Jordan blew a raspberry at him.

Kurt smiled and shook his head "All right kids, off to the car, lets go."

Kurt let the kids walk ahead of him, but before he shut the door he blew Noah a raspberry of his own and closed the door behind him.

Noah pushed his empty plate away from him and dropped his head into his hands. He was so fucking confused. Kurt had changed, Kurt had grown up and he didn't know a damn thing about him now. The Kurt he knew wouldn't be caught dead in sweat pants in public, even if he was just in the car. Noah sighed and shook his head; the problem was this wasn't the Kurt he knew. This Kurt had kids and raised them and loved them just as much as he loved Noah. This wasn't Kurt Hummel, this was Kurt Puckerman and he didn't know what to do.

Noah stood up from the table and walked into the living room. He stood in the middle and looked around, this house wasn't Kurt Hummel. The walls were baby blue and covered in mismatched picture frames. Nothing matched. The couch was large and cream and furry, while the other couches were just white. The coffee table was brown and round and covered in toys and coloring books. Noah walked over to the bookshelf on the opposite side of the room and pulled out a book that said on the side 'Abigail's Book'

Noah pulled out the big white and purple album and sat down on the ugly, furry couch with it. Despite how badly it looked, it felt nice. Noah flipped the book and the first thing he saw was a date.

March 6th

Under the bright purple date was a picture of a baby. The baby was red and scrunched and looked like a dried tomato and may have been the ugliest thing Noah had ever seen. Noah smiled; Abigail was the prettiest ugly little thing he'd ever seen. Noah ran a finger over the picture and felt the sting of tears prickle the back of his eyelids. He couldn't even remember when this happened. The sweet happiness of being here with Kurt drained away. What was the point? He couldn't remember anything that made him happy, not his kids, not even his husband.

Noah flipped another page and this time it was Kurt and Abigail. Kurt was smiling softly and holding Abigail in his arms, who looked like she was actually smiling. Abigail had a huge head of brown hair and Kurt's eyes. Noah flipped the page and what he saw knocked the breath out of him. It was him. There he was in what looked like a hospital chair, holding the red little prune in his arms with a smile on his face. Underneath in neat little handwriting was 'First time Noah ever cried'

Noah flipped through the book and saw Abigail grow up before his eyes. Every picture, she got older and more beautiful. Every picture her eyes grew so blue, it hurt looking at it. Noah closed the book with a sigh and put it on the ugly coffee table in front of him. He rested his head in his palms and thought. Noah thought long and hard about why God was punishing him like this. Putting him in the middle of a new happy life and letting him miss all of the good things. Making him feel like a shit husband and father because he knew absolutely nothing about his own family.

Noah jumped as a warm ran across the back of his neck soothingly.

"Noah, is something wrong? You look sick."

Noah looked up a Kurt, with slight bags under his eyes, hair free of product, sweat pants and all and fell in love all over again. Kurt's eyebrows creased in concern as he saw his husband just stare at him blankly. "Noah?" He urged again softly.

Noah said nothing but grip Kurt's arm softly. He tugged slightly and watched as Kurt tumbled into his lap. Noah nosed around his neck and breathed in the scent of Kurt, his Kurt, the only Kurt he ever knew and ever will know. Kurt wrapped his arms around his neck and laughed softly. The laugh was deep and soft at the same time and Noah felt himself harden in his jeans. Noah brought his face out of Kurt's neck and brought it to Kurt's. He pressed a soft kiss against Kurt's lips and pulled back. Kurt stared back, eyes hooded and a small light of lust in those blue eyes. Noah closed his eyes and pulled Kurt back in, wanting to discover Kurt all over again.

Noah pulled Kurt in closed, his hands low on Kurt hips, while Kurt hung tight around his neck, making small noises of happiness. Noah made a small moan of pleasure as Kurt scratched at the nape of his neck. Noah stood with Kurt in his arms and made his way upstairs. Kurt peeled his lips away from his own softly and smiled slowly, but said nothing. Noah walked up the stairs slowly, loving the feel of Kurt's warm breath on his neck. Noah walked through the door way of Kurt's-no, their bedroom and closed the door behind him. Noah laid Kurt softly on the bed, his mouth attaching itself to Kurt's neck. Kurt moaned softly, a breathy Noah falling from his pink lips. Noah ran his hands down Kurt's sides and then up his shirt, loving the feel of Kurt's warm skin. Kurt moaned softly again and wrapped a long leg around his waist, pulling Noah closer. Noah sat up and gently pulled Kurt's shirt over his head, desire running through him like a waterfall. He pressed soft kisses on Kurt's smooth chest, nipping softly then soothing the hurt with his tongue. Noah kissed down to Kurt's stomach, but stopped when he felt something rough on his lips. Noah ran his fingers over the dark pink line running vertically down Kurt's stomach, the idea that Kurt had given birth to his children made him harder than a diamond.

Noah felt tugging on his shirt and sat up and let Kurt remove the shirt himself. Noah kissed down Kurt's body until he met the waistband of Kurt's pajamas. Noah hooked his thumbs and slowly pulled them down, revealing Kurt's hard and dripping cock. Noah let out a small growl before sitting up and unbuttoning his own jeans and pushing them halfway down his thighs. Noah grinded his hips down against Kurt's and buried his face in Kurt's neck, kissing and biting. Noah licked a wet stripe from Kurt's neck to his ear and whispered roughly "Lube?"

Kurt shook his head with a smile and wrapped his legs around Noah's waist "Don't bother, last night you fucked me well enough that I'm still open for you."

Noah chuckled softly as his cock gave a small twitch against Kurt "That's nice babe."

Noah gripped Kurt's hips softly and let his cockhead rest at Kurt's entrance, groaning as Kurt tried to suck him in. Noah smirked down at "Eager, babe?"

Kurt bucked his hips in response and let out a choked moan when it did nothing. Noah sank himself into Kurt with a happy moan, loving the way Kurt's walls held him tightly. Noah rolled his hips softly into Kurt, loving the little gasps and moans he made. His fingers gripped Kurt's hips tightly as his thrusts built up more power. He ran his hand up the back of Kurt's thigh and hiked his leg higher around his waist. Kurt groaned loudly and held tightly to Noah's neck, just teasing at the base of his scalp. Noah lost himself in the feeling of bliss, kissing Kurt's plush mouth until it was red, swollen and bruised.

"Ah…Noah, I'm close." Kurt whimpered against his lips sweetly as his hips began to stutter unsteadily.

Noah groaned as Kurt fluttered around him and kissed him again "It's alright, baby, go ahead."

Kurt threw his head with a forceful shudder against the pillows and came with a small whimper.

Noah jerked his hips out of time as he felt Kurt's essence splatter between them and Kurt grip his cock in a vice. He gave one bone shattering thrust and erupted inside of Kurt.

Noah collapsed onto Kurt, not bothering to pull out. He buried his face in Kurt's warm shoulder and breathed in his scent.

"God Kurt, I love you."

Kurt smiled and raised an eyebrow "Noah I know that, I'm your husband."

Noah smiled brightly and kissed Kurt while mumbling "My husband, my husband, I love you, love you…"

Kurt kissed back, confusion being swept away by fresh, hot waves of desire once more.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: The Family Man  
Author: pinch5  
Summary: based on the movie "The Family Man"  
Warnings: mpreg, fluff, sex  
Note: OMG I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE HAPPY FOR THE END OF THE SCHOOL YEAR.

Noah woke up in bed alone, covered in bite marks and rumpled sheets. He sat up sluggishly, feeling sticky, happy and fucking loved. He rolled out of bed and sniffed his pits before shrugging and pulling on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. He walked down the stairs and followed the sweet smell coming from the kitchen and planned on eating whatever it was before the kids got home and devoured it. He's never known kids for too long but he knew that they were bottomless pits, he didn't care if they came from his testicles; he wasn't the type to share his food. Noah stood in the archway of the kitchen and just stared at Kurt. Kurt was standing in front on the stove, stirring something and swaying softly to a song playing on the radio. Kurt had decided that getting completely dressed after two vigorous round of sex was too much work and was dressed in nothing but a huge sweater that fell right under his ass cheeks. As Kurt swayed from side to side little teasing glimpses of each cheek peeked out, tempting Noah's iron will. Noah almost snorted out loud at that thought before unzipping his pants and walking behind Kurt, grinding into him slowly. Kurt moaned breathlessly and quickly turned off the burner before pulling Noah away from the stove and leaning against the island in the middle of the kitchen. Kurt kissed his neck and ran his hands up his back teasingly.

"You're very excited today, what are we celebrating?"

Noah shrugged before lifting Kurt on top of the island and dragging him in close. He kissed up and down Kurt's neck and slowly raised the hem of the sweatshirt to slip his hands onto that tight ass.

"Kurt-Oh good, Lord."

Kurt immediately pushed him away and jumped off of the counter, trying not to look like he wasn't about to be fucked on the kitchen counter before greeting his father. Noah turned around, not even bothering to zip himself up and pouted at the older man. Who would stop someone from getting a quickie in the middle of the day? The devil, that's who.

"For God's sake, I didn't want to see your cock and balls hanging out in high school and I don't want to see them now. Put that thing away before you hurt someone."

Kurt sighed and tucked Noah back in his pants and zipped him up, while offering his father something to drink.

Burt shook his head before taking off his hat and sitting down at the kitchen table and dumping a large binder onto it.

"Nah, it's alright. Why don't you go, I dunno, put some pants on while Puck and I discuss some business."

Kurt coughed lightly as a blush dusted up the back of his neck before walking out of the room, tugging on the bottom of the shirt all the way. Noah cleared his throat nervously and sat down at the table across from Burt. _Business?_ For fuck's sake, he didn't even know what the fuck he did for Burt. He didn't know a damn thing about cars, fuck that's why when he was 16 Kurt fixed his car! While Noah was having a mental freak out Burt opened the binder and slid it over to him.

"You know what time it is."

Noah racked his brain for an answer before blurting out "Mating season?"

Burt rolled his eyes and threw a pen at Noah's head "I don't know why I kept you as an accountant for so damn long."

Kurt's amused voice floated along with him as he walked past the two and back to the stove.

"Oh, I don't know, it could have something to do with him being your son-in-law and the father of your grandchildren. Just a thought, dad."

Burt grunted before putting his cap back on and standing from the table "It's liked you've all lost your minds. Make sure to disinfect that counter, while you're in here. Carole leaves her casseroles on there sometimes."

Kurt coughed again and slouched lower into the pot he stirring, letting the steam be his excuse for a pair of red cheeks.

Noah snorted and snapped the binder closed before yelling out after the exiting man "I'll have you know that we christened the entire damn house! The table was out favorite!"

Noah let out a loud barking laugh as he heard a sound of disgust before the slamming of a door. He kept laughing until he felt a sharp slap on the back of his head.

"Ow! What the fuck, man!" Noah glared at the back of Kurt's head as he kept stirring the contents of the pot.

"Don't even try to pout at me, you horn dog. I can't believe we almost had sex on the kitchen island. Our kids eat there Noah, and my dad walked in on us. I am mortified."

Noah rubbed his head pouted harder.

"Well maybe he should've knocked. I'm still a virile young man and I have a lot of life left in me!"

Kurt raised an eyebrow at him in complete disbelief "You have got to be kidding me."

Noah grinned up at Kurt and patted his lap "You wanna go again?"

~!~

Noah huffed as he watched Princess frolic around in the snow as he searched for a place to do his business. Noah had to remember when he got home to ask why the fuck was this big ass Rottweiler named Princess? Why didn't Kurt stop those children! Noah rubbed the bump under his hat and huffed some more, Kurt could really take a whack with a wooden spoon.

Princess trotted back over to him, looking utterly relieved and sated. Noah couldn't help but glare at him in jealousy, when the two of them get back to the house, Princess will get all of Kurt's kisses. Lucky dog.


	5. Chapter 5

Title: The Family Man  
Author: pinch5  
Summary: based on **this prompt**  
Warnings: mpreg, fluff, sex  
Note:

Noah opened the side door of the house and watched as Princess shook the snow off of his fur on the mat, before trotting into the kitchen to join Kurt and what sounded like his youngest. Noah slipped off his outwear and threw them in the hall closet along with his snow boots. Noah sniffled a bit, the cold from the outside, getting to him, before walking into the kitchen as well.

Kurt had Jordan in his lap and was sharing a plate of warm spaghetti with him, well trying to at least. Kurt would offer Jordan a forkful who would eat half, before throwing the rest of the forkful on the ground for Princess. Princess just woofed happily and enjoyed his free meal. Noah felt the chill of the outside melt away as he saw the plate of food sitting on the table, just for him. Noah had never had anyone to come home to, just bills and angry phone calls of irate one night stands. He liked having a warm house and warm food to come home too, it made him happy.

Noah walked to the kitchen cabinet and pulled out a fork before sitting down across from Kurt and digging in.

"Jordan's back early."

Kurt gave him a confused look before taking a bite of spaghetti for himself "No, the bus always drops him home at this time, you just took forever with Princess."

Noah rolled his eyes and with a small pout. "Hey, that's not my fault! Princess is picky! He has to whiz one place and drop a load a mile away! Yell at him, not me."

Kurt snorted and shook his head "You're hopeless, Noah. You can't blame your slowness on the family dog. Princess is completely innocent."

Princess barked at the statement, as if he knew Kurt was praising him.

Jordan threw a handful of spaghetti on the floor before speaking in Princess' defense "Princey is a good doggy! The best doggy ever!"

Kurt nodded with them and gave Princess a pat on the head "You bet he is! Daddy is just being big meany!"

Jordan gasped and shot Noah a disapproving look "That's bad! You hafta be nice to Princess or he'll bite your butt!"

Noah chuckled and rolled his eyes "Oh no, we don't want that to happen!"

Jordan nodded and opened his mouth for another spoonful of spaghetti. He chewed and the 3 humans and one dog enjoyed the silence.

"Oh! Papa, daddy, look! The teacher gave me a gold star for knowing all my ABCs!"

Noah and Kurt looked at where their son pointed and made confused noises.

"Jojo, where's the star?"

Jordan looked at his own forehead before lifted up his shaggy blonde hair and revealing the gold star.

"It's so cool!"

Noah nodded and gave the blonde hair a ruffle "You bet it is."

Kurt pushed Jordan gently off of his lap when the plate was finished and let him run into the living room with Princess. Kurt picked up the plate and walked to the sink and washed it.

"I think its time we cut Jordan's hair."

Noah nearly spit out his drink in surprise. His kid looked like a little hippie, with that curly blonde hair! He didn't want to cut it!

"Why?"

Kurt shrugged and dried his hands with a paper towel "Well, he's starting to look like an unclean hippie!"

"You say that like it's a bad thing!"

Kurt rolled his eyes and sat down at the table across from his husband "Noah, he's starting to look like a shaggy dog. He's not going to be bald for crissake!"

Noah shook his head "I like my kid when he looks like a hippie! It's cool!"

"Noah, you're being silly now and you know it."

Noah sighed and ran a hand through his head, when a great idea struck him "Can I take him for his haircut?"

Kurt smiled, liking the way his husband was finally caving "Sure, in fact you can take the twins as well, you know, kill two birds with one stone."

Noah nodded and thought about how awesome his kids were gonna look, before thinking something over. Kurt was a brunette, he was a brunette, but 3 out of 4 of his kids were blonde. How strange.

"Did you cheat on me with the mailman or something? How are almost all of my kids blonde?"

Kurt rolled his eyes again "Seriously? I told you this before; it's going to go away. I was born blonde, but by the time I was 3 or 4 it was brown. Jordan will be the same thing!"

"Okay, and the twins?"

"It's just going to take a bit longer, their hair is already dirty blonde!"

"The mailman Kurt, how very cliché."

"For God's sake, our mailman is a ginger!"

Noah laughed loudly as Kurt stood up and went to the coat closet and began dressing himself.

"Where you off to?"

"Thanks to you I'm late for getting Abigail and the twins. You are so juvenile Noah, it's amazing!"

"Is that why you cheated on me with the mailman?"

Kurt's glare would have melted the grin off of his face if it could "Are you fucking kidding me?"

Kurt and Noah turned as a little voice squealed "Papa said a bad word!"

Noah walked over to Jordan and held him in his arms "You bet he did! Papa, naughty, naughty!"

Kurt huffed and rolled his eyes and made his way out the door "Bite me Noah Puckerman."

"All night long, baby!"

Noah and Jordan giggled as Kurt slammed the door behind him.

"Okay, Papa's gone, what do you want to do?"

"Snowball fight daddy!"

Noah shrugged and dressed Jordan as quickly as possible, despite all of his wiggling, and bundled himself up as well. He opened the door and Jordan zipped out, followed by Princess who smugly made a point to step on his foot. Damn dog.

Noah closed the door behind him and stood on his porch just watching the neighborhood. It was nice, peaceful and crisp air only bothered him a bit. He was content to just stand, but then a ball of ice made impact with the side of his face. Noah shivered violently and wiped the snow off of his neck and watched a blue coat toddle away.

Oh, it was on.

~!~

Kurt pulled into his driveway and parked quietly. Abigail was quietly singing to some pop on the radio while the twins had fallen asleep in the driveway. Kurt took his keys out of the ignition and let out a little curse when he fumbled with them and dropped them on the carpet below him.

"Abby, honey, could you wake up your brothers and bring them into the house?"

"Sure, papa."

Kurt unclipped his seatbelt and stretched his arm as far it could go and began feeling for the keys. He heard the sounds of unhappy groans before the sound of the car door opening and closing again. Kurt found his keys and sat up with a triumphant smile. He grabbed them and stepped out of the car wanting to join his kids but not before making all of the doors were locked. He was forgetful like that.

Kurt was intently focused on scratch on his window when heard his kids gasp in surprise.

He heard Abigail's hushed 'omg' and the twins' dual sounds of appreciation. Kurt turned around and looked at his kids then to his house.

"What's so-Oh. My. God."

Noah and Jordan managed to make a slaughtered snowman. It was covered in what looked like blood, had multiple knives sticking out of it and a frozen face of agony painted on.

"My front yard looks like a bad horror movie. How the hell did they do this?"

Kurt began to walk to the house, his foot making a loud sound as it crunched on hard snow. Kurt jumped as Noah and Jordan jumped out from the bushed and began pelting them with snowballs. Kurt screamed as a cold snowball hit him right in the face. He shook the face off and glared at his husband and son with as much malice as he could muster.

"Noah Puckerman, are you out your mind?"

Noah just shrugged, looking warm and rosy cheeked even though he was soaked and covered in snow.

Kurt sighed as Jordan threw another snowball at Nathan, and the older boy picked up a handful of snow before throwing it back. Everything broke loose as Abigail got Noah right in the junk before Nero caught her in the side of the face with a large handful.

Kurt let out a girlish yell as he was picked up by the waist and thrown into a pile of soft snow. He looked up at the grinning face of his husband. Kurt pretended like he was having no part of the fun and stood while hiding a ball of snow behind his back. He waited until Noah turned his back before shoving the ball of snow down his shirt.

Noah let out a loud squawk before dancing around, trying to shake the snow out. Kurt laughed so hard that he was actually doubled over. He stood up and wiped the small trail of tears of his cheeks. Noah was smiling at him, holding an armful of snow.

"You're going down."

Kurt raised an eyebrow and smirked "Bring it on."

~!~

An hour an a half later the entire family had come inside for hot coco after the snow ball fight of the century. Jordan was sipping coco out of his Spongebob mug while Kurt blow dried his hair and Noah was toweling off Nero and Nero was toweling off Nathan. Abigail had gone to take a hot bath.

Kurt put down the blow drier on the counter and ran his hands through Jordan's warm hair before motioning for Nathan to come over. While drying his hair he looked over at Noah.

"Where in the world did you find the idea to make such a grotesque snow person?"

Noah shrugged and continued to dry his son's hair "I dunno, spur of the moment thing. Wasn't it beautiful, though?"

Kurt shut off the drier and called Nathan over to him "Of course not! That thing is so creepy! You need to take it down as soon as possible!"

Noah shook his head stubbornly "That snow person in the fruit of you husband and your son working together like a real father and son. Why would you take down our monument of love?"

"Your monument of love is a poor snow person bleeding out from several stab wounds. That's messed up."

Noah shrugged and took a sip of hot coco "It really is."

Kurt shut off the drier and sent Nathan to play with his brothers before gathering the left over cups of coco and putting them in the sink to wash. Noah watched as Kurt rolled up his sleeves and got down to it. It was actually kind of hot. Noah thought about this for a moment, did he have a domestic kink or something? Or was it just Kurt was like fine wine and aged amazingly? Noah shrugged before walking up to Kurt and pressing up against him.

"Did you know couples communicate better if they have sex at least twice a day?"

Kurt chuckled and continued washing dishes "Oh really? And just where are you getting your information?"

"Google."

"Liar."

"Does it matter?"

"Not really." Kurt replied with a small smile.


End file.
